If you have seen a decent amount of my posts, you'd be well acquainted with the fact I despise everything about Seth. His smarmy attitude, his pretentious facade of being "cultured", his dumb coy act, his readiness to insult people with zero provocation, his complete self-absorption, his "identity crisis" bullcrap... I hate it all. But somehow, the impossible has been done. Amorous managed to offer a far worse character: Mercy. See, Seth may be a complete asshole, but he is at least consistently an asshole. Mercy is not consistent about anything. Don't get me wrong, Mercy has a nice personality for the most part, but after a certain point in the date path, Mercy's personality takes a backseat to a constant focus what Mercy is packing downstairs. This becomes irritating very fast. I don't even know what Mercy is. Is Mercy a hermaphrodite? Is Mercy a dude that decided to get boobs? Is Mercy a girl that decided to get a schlong? What is Mercy exactly? Apparently, I don't get to ever know. I mean, if Mercy was actually a hermaphrodite, hey, I'm cool with that. Not my area of expertise, but I'm not going to turn someone down on account of a genetic condition. If Mercy is in fact a guy who got boobs (most likely as an MTF), can you at least tell me that you were born a guy so that I don't have to look up your birth certificate to find the truth? And if you are a girl who decided to be packing some heat, I'm down with that: you're still a girl, after all. But no. Despite Mercy gushing out about the relatively meaningless facet of personal identity that is one's junk, I am never given specifics. I can't help but feel like Mercy's just trying to hide something from me, which I feel is very dishonest. And seriously, Mercy, I can't even dance with you? What, are you THAT ashamed of being with me? I mean, if you had an issue, try wearing clothing that actually fucking conceals something. And then you end up driveling on about some ridiculously ambiguous "surgery". What the fuck am I supposed to infer from that? For all I know, "surgery" could just mean getting some kidneystones removed! How about this, Mercy: Actually tell me what you mean to say, instead of giving me idiotically vague terms. Makes my life easier. I cannot attach any meaning to "surgery" if I don't know what the fucking procedure you're talking about is. Oh, let's get to the real fun part. The rude awakening of the "art" gallery. Gee, Mercy, thanks for inviting me... to a fucking erotic museum! Seriously, what the fuck? How am I supposed to manage a conversation with you while surrounded by huge paintings of giant cocks? You don't think that pushes an enormous amount of pressure on me, knowing you apparently decided the single worst location to pour out your heart to me at? The fuck is wrong with you, Mercy? And then, you expect me to know some deep and significant (and totally vague) meaning out of some sculpture. Are you fucking kidding me? If you asked me what I thought that was, I would have said that it looks like the Mozilla Waterfox logo (which it is a dead ringer for, by the way)! But apparently, almost anything I say makes me an utter dickhole in your eyes. Then, if I manage to get past this (and believe me, getting this far is Mercy's path is a miracle that I achieved by luck alone), Mercy goes to powder up. Then comes a part that is ridiculously hard to pass. Virtually anything you could do in the next two sets choices you get can end up with Mercy telling you to fuck off. What the hell is up with that? So once she leaves, in waltzes fuckin' Stilts McGee, this colossal hyena (or whatever he is) that could probably eat me alive with ease. Out of nowhere, this insane prick gives you the third degree, and this lone random asshole is the only thing deciding whether or not Mercy will ever speak to you again. Might I remind you that you have to answer these questions perfectly in the single most awkward and uncomfortable place of locale possible? And dude, seriously, can you just accept that you aren't in college anymore and that Mercy is an adult capable of making decisions without you? I mean, who do you think you are, Mercy's father? Assuming you pass the trials of Sir Meat-Slab, you will finally have Mercy approve of you. If you got this far, you either got here by luck, trial-and-error, or you cracked open the data files to see the programming of the date. Mercy takes you back to an apartment, which unsurprisingly looks just like everyone's apartment. Cripes, people, decorate a little. I don't care if it is a jar of flowers, do SOMETHING to be an individual. Now, here's where the path gets dickish. No matter what you've done up to this point, there is virtually an impossibility of getting an outcome other than the one where you mount Mercy (So much for all that confidence, filthy talk, and drive). There actually is a second ending though, and you will not believe how stupid the requirement is: You need breasts. That's right. If you don't have breasts, you will never be anything but top. Nothing in the entire date path can get you as a bottom if you don't have breasts. And even with breasts, you need to do the entire path perfectly. You won't get that by luck, trust me. You WILL need to cheat, and that means unzipping MercyPredate.json and MercyDate.json (they are both gzip files). Then, you will need to VERY carefully pore over the entirety of the two files in something like Notepad++. You'll quickly realize in doing this, however, just how moronic the structure of Mercy's date path is. First, you'll learn that Mercy's date is a minefield. It has more points of failure than any other; an enormous amount of choices lead to Mercy cutting ties with you and your number getting blocked. I can't tell you the number of ways this can happen, because I lost count somewhere after 30. The triggers for failure range from things that actually make you deserve to be kicked to the curb to not picking up on very cryptic and subtle clues. You will need either a very good memory to avoid these or you will need to write on a sheet of paper every single thing that leads to Mercy making you a persona non grata. You will also notice where all the effort goes into in the programming. I kid you not, there is actually more effort putting into fat-shaming your character if you have a "Chubby" body type. Coby mocks you, Mercy mocks you, everyone mocks you. It also puts an enormous emphasis on making terrible jokes if you have a "Knot" cock. And most absurdly of all, a completely separate path is made if your character has breasts, and it is a far easier path. You also will realize that Mercy's path forces you into situations whether or not you want to avoid them. Don't want to make a big deal out of Mercy's endowment? Too bad, there is no way to avoid this, and believe me, I checked fervently. Don't want a skyscraper of a hyena to grill you like a criminal? Too bad, you cannot avoid this either, and I did so desperately check for any way to get around this. Don't feel comfortable in an erotic museum? Mercy doesn't fucking care, and you will always be forced to go there. The whole entire path is an absolute mess. It's baffling and cryptic, extremely difficult to do right, and your payoff sucks. Despite Mercy clearly having a personality, the writers clearly cared more about focusing on Mercy's knockwurst than on making a connection between Mercy and the player. Like Seth's path, what the player wants and needs doesn't matter. You just are an object to be talked at, and you serve as Mercy's therapist instead of as Mercy's significant other. Just like how you're nothing but a whiteboard for Seth as he furthers his ambitions without even giving a fuck about the player. See, people like Seth and Mercy... I can't stand them. All Seth cares about is his own desires, and all Mercy cares about is soapboxing about Mercy's issues. Seth only cares about Seth, Mercy only cares about Mercy. There's no reason to waste time waiting for love, care, and genuine interest to be sincerely reciprocated from people who will never be capable of being sincere. But at least Seth isn't a liar, and he at least makes his intentions clear. He may be a self-absorbed asshole, but at least he doesn't try to hide it. Mercy is a self-absorbed asshole who pretends to care, and is just a nicely dressed piece of deceitful pond scum. With that said, here's how my ranking stands: - 1st; don't see this changing. - 2nd; She's only in second because she is the only girl. She'll drop fast, I'm sure. - 3rd; I can relate to PTSD, but he barely edges out Dustin. At least I get to shoot things. - 4th; He isn't lower only because of the magnificent movie scene. My face hates being smashed against dashboards. - 5th; This isn't a date path, it is the result of someone in charge of programming getting piss drunk. - 6th; This is basically the worst type of gay guy: Pretentious asshole whose ideal guy is himself. - 7th; Fire the fucker who wrote this path.