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Ruslan's Adventure Time

Discussion in 'Unrelated Discussion' started by Ruslan, May 22, 2016.

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What would you like to see more of in the future?

  1. Less text.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Keep this amount of text.

    100.0%
  3. More images!

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Eh, this amount of images is good.

    50.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Ruslan

    Ruslan New Member

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    Okay so it's become readily apparent some people would like to see my photographs, and others would like to hear of my "wild" adventures. Some are, some aren't, but in the interest of keeping whatever's posted protected, certain details such as access will be omitted if it's not glaringly obvious when you walk within ten feet of a place.

    In addition, this thread might just let me practice my writing while proving mildly entertaining so why not?
    It will also serve as a log of some of my shenanigans, but I would like to stress that if you have no experience in such things, nor a guide, you DO NOT do anything of the sort of which you will read.

    That said, what say we get on with the first of my tales?
    ...................................................................................................................................................
    1. A Trip to Ridgebac- Town. Ridgetown.

    [​IMG]
    Due to text limitations, i'll skip to the most interesting part of the little excursion, the part where I got around back, to within five meters of the Ridgetown's rusty metal ass end. Let me tell you right now, it was a bit of a pain in the ass. Firstly, I had to go back around in a U route around the marina to get to the other leg of the breakwater. From there, I took a photo like this, but from a significantly longer distance.

    [​IMG]
    To the left, you can see where the rocks end approaching the rear of the ship. If I wasn't carrying the $1.1k worth of camera, phone, studio headphones, and all the other stuff in my bag, I could have literally swam into the ship through the hole cut in the side in order to sink it. One such hole can be seen in the same position in the side facing the camera (below the two white struts supporting top deck.)

    Continuing on with the story, I got to the beach, which consists of garbage, shards of shells ground into fine stab-you-through-the-socks grain, and really old driftwood! Anyways, as I got there, I noticed two major obstacles to getting to the ship when dry, these were fences. I was most definitely not the first to do this, as the locals didn't seem to give a damn as I just casually slid under the conveniently-loose chain link like an otter. Okay it was actually less graceful than that, backpack got caught. I lifted it off my pack fairly swiftly, but it didn't help that a young couple saw my blunder. Damn. Anyways, one fence down. Hah, not too bad. I look up and there's AN ENTIRE FIELD OF FUCKING SWANS I DIDN'T SEE SOMEHOW. Luckily however, swans are not geese, and are therefore not massive shitheads. But don't worry, we got geese later in the story.

    As I made my way around the graceful honkers careful not to disturb them, I saw pitfall 2, 3 if you count the swans. That damn fence, the one that seems to have no way around it, and no ledge to shuffle along. However, I am a persistent bastard who did not just cycle for ten miles to let a wire mesh stop him. I did what any sane person would do in that situation of course and spidercrabbed the FUCK out of that fence, holding onto it as I tiptoed across jagged rock points.

    The next leg of my journey was... eh, moderately easy. I had to go across some rocks then, and crossed over a low hanging branch, which decided to get cuddly with my balls. Bad wood. stop. down boy. Then, I went along without issue, until there was ONE. FUCKING. GOOSE. on the rocks. Knowing their violent and aggressive tendencies towards people who are carrying expensive things, food, and anything they can be assholes about, I decided to kindly step around the goose like i did the swans. NOPE. Slipped, scraped my knee, and sent my camera's fucking BATTERY CHARGER into the water with a horrifying *bloop.* Now, I was somewhat irritated. I am still letting it dry before I even attempt to plug it in again, but here's the worst part of that. THAT MOTHERFUCKER. that honking motherfucker. He stood around making honks at me on the rocks like he was calling his shithead friends over, and the moment I slip and my charger actually hits the water, that son of a bitch goes off flapping and honking like a goddamn winged trumpet.

    Now slightly sore, I packed my stuff away in an actually zip-able pocket this time, thankful that that and a lens cap were the only two things to clatter out. Whatever, not that big a deal if I can dry the charger off. So, I got back up and started walking again. Not even twenty feet later, and some some shithead startles me with FUCKING FIREWORKS. IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT. What in god's name were you trying to achieve boy? I kept thinking someone in the marina was shooting off flares trying to get my attention, nope, nobody cared I was there, just some jackass who apparently doesn't understand how fireworks work. The worst part? He must have fired off about 10 of them before stopping, all while I was out there. Just the thing I needed while traversing jagged rocks, loud noises.

    Well, that didn't stop me either, and I made my way down further, then there was that jackass goose from earlier. This time I didn't bother making way and concluded that i'd break it's neck with the 2.8 KG camera setup, as Russian lens is stronker than goose nek. Nobody fucks with the sea dragon and this avian excuse for a trombone knew it, moving out of my way. I was briefly startled by a swan though, who I stepped within about two feet of as it was hidden between a few rocks, still didn't attack though, just hissed briefly but stayed put.

    After that, I finally made it to the ship, slightly saddened there was no obvious ways on-board a ship that was over 110 years old. Oh well, I did get some beautiful shots on the way there and back though.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Ugh, please pardon the dust in those images, but it seems that I got some dust in the lens unit, either the lens or on the sensor. Well, guess I better air dust it when I get the chance. I figured I'd give these kinds of posts a shot to see if anyone else is interested in them. I admit my first got a bit long winded, but I just felt like writing, I guess I overdid it huh? (By the way, prior to me deleting a text wall this was about 10,100+ characters long. I actually broke the text limit!)

    Suffice to say, I'll try to find more interesting things on my next encounters, they may not always be places! they could be people, things, strange encounters of the bird kind, who knows.
     
  2. Code_Doggo

    Code_Doggo Member

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    Nice story , worth the read , if you post more stories i'm definetly gonna read them :amcocky:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 22, 2016
  3. Ruslan

    Ruslan New Member

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    Well, guess I know how Jax feels now.

    [​IMG]
    So. As many of you are now aware, I recently got a job at a nightclub. The club in particular is known as Sugar Daddy's, a hip-hop themed club, but a club none the less. I work as something called a barback. In particular, this location has combined duties, which i don't mind much. A barback is basically the bartender's right hand man that comes in and brings all the booze to refill the bar. That shit doesn't just materialize due to magical bartending powers you know. It's also one letter off from Bareback, a term which means something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

    This is my experience.

    So, my day began with a bike ride to the bus stop (Heh, yes this is an important detail.) where I took a bus 14 km (8.6992 miles) to get to work. I have no other mode of transport currently, still have to finish up my license. I'd need to drive with a co-driver. Found a neat, tiny white strap made of a canvas style material on the bus too. Now iIhave a leg strap. Anyways, so I get there a bit early, half an hour early to be exact. Not too big a deal as I've waited longer for things of less importance.


    My real work began going in back and meeting all the others, nothing too exciting. I did however crack a few jokes, this sat well and made me feel quite welcome. The job, though simple, is demanding with the amount of tireless movement there is, I'll tell you this; Jax has it easy. So, remember how I stated it's a multi-duty version of the job? Yeah, we don't just run out and restock, we also bring back glasses, keep the place clean and wash them. That's not even really a big deal, we have this MAGICAL washing machine that rinses, cleans, and sterilizes glasses within three minutes, not even kidding.

    Most of my night was spent running back and forth between my assigned bar, L, which was called that because it looks like an L. I picked up the empties, returned, cleaned, put empty bottles in a case, then just stacked, and restocked glasses as needed. Hey the job isn't glamorous as being in front of a colorful alcoholic's wet dream, but it works. we're dressed in black just like the bouncers, so that in the dark club we make a minimal visual impact, and that's fine, but I did get to meet a few people regardless.

    it gets later in the night, and a strange man appears in the back with my equivalent of a supervisor, a guy who looks like a foreign criminal mastermind of some sort, but less criminal. So, I practically knew this had to be the boss. I decided to pull a fast one, turned to my coworker and said "Who's the guy behind you?" which resulted in me being introduced, as planned. Okay, now to make a positive impression. "Oh, so you're the owner. I was wondering who this monolith of a man was, silently judging me as I went about washing dishes." My supervisor BURST OUT LAUGHING. It was the right impression.

    Even later in the night, a coworker turns to me and asks "So, do you have a girlfriend." to which I responded. "The hell I don't, I haven't even had a date, still a virgin." He was dumbfounded, and actually genuinely surprised at my response. "How the hell can someone like you not find a date?" "well, i'm practically magic at going unnoticed around women." He had a giggle.

    By now my legs were being a pain, and so were theirs, so I told them of the time last year December, when I was literally run over by a Masseuse. Driven home, given basic first aid to check (I was fine.) and then given a massage! Yep. Leg still hurt though, and that sucked but hey. nobody blamed anyone for that, and I haven't tried crossing the road (further from the intersection) even when my light's green ever again. (turning lane doesn't stop, i forgot this. view was blocked too...)


    Eventually the night ended, we restocked everything, and by then it was 3:40 AM. I got my tip out, left, got a monster at the nearby gas station.

    But it's not over! IT'S FAR FROM OVER.

    remember how I mentioned a bicycle? and 14 km? Yeah, you can probably guess what happened next. See, busses don't run here in Mississauga past 11, and that was a time long gone. So, I literally legged it across town, ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN. In the process, slightly tired, I realised that my body actually stops giving a fuck when even slightly tired. I felt no leg strain, no ass-hurting stock bike seat pains, or anything, just me and my cell's music cache as I rode through the night.

    First leg was simple, well lit, and then I got moist. real moist. Yeah, some jackass thought it'd be nice to turn on a plaza's sprinkler system at 3:50 AM. Well, great, now I'm tired AND wet. But that didn't stop me! What did however, was trying to switch the bag of popcorn I had bought for sustenance from hand to hand on a bike. because then I crashed. Nothing too serious though, I actually caught my fall with my hands, no concrete blood-skidmarks either. So, I just got back up and kept at it. Then, OHGOD IT'S DARK! I realised, riding right into an un-lit portion of road, bike bumping over mis-laden concrete slabs directly next to the road. It was me and my night vision now, and damned if I was going to stop because of a little shadow. I eventually got past that, and the rest of my ride was mostly uneventful, sometimes kicked it into overdrive and gave my legs a good 100 RPM kick of speed, then rode out the momentum. The good news is if I keep this up, eventually I'll become a raptor.

    I eventually got home at 4:45 about, and started writing this. It's a lovely day now, birds are singing, the dawn has broken....

    And I'm gonna sleep for a fucking eon.

    But don't get me wrong, I don't regret taking up this job, yeah the ride is pretty long, but you know what? It's pretty damn worth it for the fun I've been having.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2016
  4. Code_Doggo

    Code_Doggo Member

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    Amorous IRL confirmed :amflirty:
     
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  5. Ruslan

    Ruslan New Member

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    Amorous IRL confirmed :amflirty:[/QUOTE]

    Pshaw. Nah, i'm prepared to remain single until I die.

    Also, bedded at 6, slept until 11. Not sure how, but by some magic I did this, and I'm not even sure if i slept at all.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2016
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