Jokes

Anyone got any good jokes out there? Good jokes, bad jokes, some big and some small, I welcome them all!

 

"Some big, some small" Are you sure you're talking about jokes?~ x3

 

This Thread works good so far xD

 

I'd like to tell a UDP joke but I fear you won't get it

 

Why can't american people tell the difference between Christmas and Halloween? Because 31oct is the same as 25dec

 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. The other day though, another book about gravity fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.

 

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jim" "Jim who?" "Dave, your Alzheimer's are tearing this family apart by forgetting your brother."

 

What's a bit's favourite pastime? Bus travel.

 

What's the difference between Freddy Mercury and you? Four letters killed him.

 

I got one for you, ja! It goes as follows: I am sitting on my couch and I ask my girlfriend for a newspaper she says "you are so old fashioned, use my Ipad." That spider never knew what hit it

 

I give respect were respect is due.
XD

 

My girlfriend walked in on me blow drying my wang and she asked me what I was doing. Apparently heating up your dinner was not the right answer.

 

NICE ONE! Though it would of been better the other way around and she was blow drying her womanhood ja?

 

In all honesty one of my best friends told me that joke a couple years back and ive told it ever since.

 

I could be your best freind probably not though

 

Moral of the Joke: Do a proper meal planning.

 

A dad walks in on his son jerking off, and says "Son, what have I told you? If you masturbate too much you'll go blind."

The son replies, "Dad, I'm over here"

 

I need to take some time to try to learn . It'll probably be a lot of time but it would be cool to learn it. All I know how to do is find glitches/bugs and report those glitches/bugs.